The concept of advertisement (ad) is very simple. It is conceptualised by the company to inform, to persuade and to remind the customer about their product. They are supposed to help the consumers to make decision regarding the product or service to buy. The aim of every promotional campaign is to enable the products to reach the right people by increasing the awareness of the product and its benefits. Hence ad becomes an integral and important marketing aspect for every company offering goods or services. The companies hire agencies to create the ads to reach their customers. The typical types of ads are newspaper, magazines, radio, television, directories, outdoor media, direct mail or catalogues and now online media.

I remember my childhood days when we used to look forward to ads, initially on radio till 1972 and then later on TV. The ad breaks used to be really sought after as we would thoroughly enjoy the different ads which used to be aired. But unfortunately, over the period of last few decades, the ad breaks started becoming longer and longer. If today, someone decides to watch a blockbuster movie on TV, they would be forced to sit more than 5 hours for a 2.5 hours film. We are simply bombarded with barrage of ads. Same thing is witnessed on FM Radio today; after every song, there is minimum 5 min ad break. It is said that today every person in metro cities is subjected to anywhere around 5000 ads every single day. In the United States, this figure goes as high as 10000. This is simply an overkill. The mad rush for ads has converted the agencies into factories; and this continuous churning of ads has diminished the creativity so badly that sometimes we feel ashamed that such trash is produced in our country.

Just take a glance through following bizarre and ridiculous situations depicted in the ads. (of course, you will identify the ads for sure)

1. All dental brands are No. 1 and recommended by all dentists in our country; that means just ‘brush‘ aside any doubts about toothpastes. They’ll all make your teeth shine like halogen lights. By the way have you ever seen a dentist wearing a doctors coat with stethoscope dangling around his neck? How the hell that is relevant to a dentist? But, why only dentist, any expert in any field, is made to wear a lab coat. It is like they store cupboard full of coats in every studio.

2. You can rest assure that you will never suffer goitre (enlarged thyroid gland) which is caused by iodine deficiency. How is that achieved? You haven’t guessed it? Simple, because every toothpaste has salt. However beware, you may get something else due to excess of salt in your body though. But why only salt, today toothpastes have clove, pudina and what not added as ingredient. It may not be surprising if they come up with ingredients such as potato or green vegetable. I think only onions may heave a sigh of relief.

3. If we don’t keep our toilet clean, a TV crew can burst into our house and point their camera at our commode. And also remember, all handwashes have an issue attaining that 0.1% extra to destroy germs because they all can kill only up to 99.9% germs.

4. Shampoos have more fruits and other ingredients than a mixed fruit juice. Strawberry, mango, blueberry, grapes, may come falafel, shawarma se yukt. The Special Effects in shampoo ads are ridiculously better than Hollywood movies. James Cameroon must be cursing himself as to why didn’t he hire these guys while making the “Avatar”? We are also made to believe that all leading actresses like Kareena, Katrina and Priyanka have dandruff and hair fall issues. We must be idiots to believe that with all the money they earn, Kareena won’t have dandruff, Katrina won’t have a dry scalp and Priyanka won’t have hair fall. But then my question is where do they spend their money? With so many shampoo brands in the market, a day is not far off when they will start promoting them as being effective for either left or right side of the head. Funnily enough, I personally know many people who have never used shampoo and in fact wash their head by the bath soap only. This has not made them bald or early whitening of hair or dandruff or face dry hair problem. This whole business is sham and is purely gimmick; nothing else.

5. Fair skin is more important than your masters degree; so if you need a job or wish to get married, just make sure that you are fair and you will be through.

6. If you are under the impression that today the girls get to know guys via Tinder, you are totally wrong. They are more interested in a guy’s deodorant than anything else because Deos are more effective apparently. Similarly always remember that your marriage can be in danger if you have a pretty wife and your neighbour uses certain deodorants. The ‘Axe Effect‘ can actually axe you out of your marriage.

7. What’s up in your life is of least importance as mothers and daughters only talk about what hair products they use. Similarly any girl’s confidence is directly connected to sanitary pads she uses as that is the shortcut to her confidence.

8. If you see a hot and sexy girl coming out of water and you presume it’s a bikini ad, then there is no bigger fool than you. Such sexy woman can be synonym for, hold your breath, good cement. Oh sorry.. Super Cement. WTF!!

9. Remember the soft drinks can bring the hero out in you; you forgot that “darr ke aage jeet hai”? And stars like Salman Khan or Akshay Kumar apparently don’t earn enough to buy one. So they prefer putting their lives at risk instead of spending 30 odd rupees. Why can’t they just taste the thunder of a fridge at home? So that they will not have to jump from helicopters.

10. Did you know that NASA has diversified themselves as Certifying Agency as well? I am sure that even NASA may be oblivious to this development. The Duraflex Mattresses claim to have space technology certified by NASA. If the American scientists hear this, they will go into comatose state for the rest of their lives.

11. You have to understand and agree that brands like Bacardi and Seagram’s only make music CDs, bottled water and golf accessories and have nothing to do with alcohol brands.

12. Mangoes can be sexy! Because looking at the expressions on the face of Katrina, it is difficult to gauge whether the ad is for Aam-sutra or Kamasutra.

13. Just don’t worry if it is snowing outside, because advertisers have shown us that just wearing inners would do the trick. It gives Sardi mein garmi ka ehsaas. Straight to Mumbai from Himalayas.

14. The secret formula to achieve global success – you guessed it right, Paan masala. I am planning to send a mail to Bill Gates and Warren Buffet to find which one is their favourite. Unfortunately can’t ask Steve Jobs now. But yes, I forgot about hamara very own Mukeshbhai.

15. You want to buy a car, go ahead and buy any; because at least 20 brands claims that they were awarded car of the year. Further you should never buy a SUV to drive in the city because you must know that almost every SUV in the world is used for only off-roading and for smashing through walls.

16. The best is reserved for the last:-

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tToMarketRisksPleaseReadTheOff

erDocumentCarefullyBeforeInves

ting.

Make sure that read this in one go in express speed so that nobody understands a word.

Now take a look at these collages of different print media ads. You become speechless in true sense. बोलती बंद.

The advertisers argue that creating such crazy ideas make the product stand out as consumer tends to remember the silly ads e.g. Onida TV in yesteryears to today’s Bingo Mad Angles. I am not sure whether this is really true.

Oh, yes but I forgot to mention one common thread in all ads – there has to be a women in every single of them and this is true world over.

I feel that either the agencies or the consumers are dumb. Oops! how can I call the creative bunch of advertisers dumb? Hence we, the consumers are not only dumb but we are naive, foolish and stupid as well.

(By the way, read the cover picture properly to understand how we can be fooled)

Yeshwant Marathe

yeshwant.marathe@gmail.com

#advertising #ad_agencies